Athelas
by TheOneWhoRulesThemAll
Summary: The tragic hero is always the most beloved. Yet for those who knew him, his life was more tragedy than heroism. Begins six years before canon.


Disclaimer: Not mine. Seriously, who would _want _a world like this to be theirs?

TOWRTA: Yo. Welcome to my new story. I've had this premise in my head for a while now and it's interesting to see how it has turned out. I wonder if anyone will review, but I'm thinking of continuing it for a little while, just to see how it goes. SnK is an exciting fandom full of potential for crazy ideas and even crazier stories. People just need to branch out a bit and use the random timeline set out for us by Hajime Isayama

First things first before the story starts, though; I have three rules.

1. No slash

2. No smut

3. No swearing

Don't even ask for them. I will say no. However, there will be violence of a graphic nature so if you think blood is 'icky', what are you doing reading SnK?

So, without further ado, here is Athelas, the spur of the moment, I really should be concentrating on my original works story that may or may not get off the ground.

Have fun!

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><p>Prologue<p>

Awakening

Waking up is always an odd experience for me. You see, in the few minutes before I am fully aware, I will invariably dream. Dreaming of flying, of walking, of swimming, of anything. In those dreams, I am always doing something away from civilisation, without any contact from other people or even animals. In those dreams the world is mine and mine alone. So when I awake to hear birds and chatter and laughter from the bustling, _alive _world around me, my perception has to tilt off its axis for a few seconds in order for me to reconcile what I believed and what I now know.

So, I guess that is why it was such an odd experience for me to open my eyes and find that the forest I was dreaming of before was still there, not the ceiling of my home with its cracks in the paint that looked to me like an bird in flight. In its place was a canopy of green that rustled in a cool breeze; a welcome relief to the sweltering heat that was beginning to set into my bones. I could hear nothing but birds and animals rustling through the undergrowth around me and a strange, far off thumping. The heat beat of a giant.

"Where am I?" I posited to question to no one or thing in particular, only saying it to try out the words. They came off my lips like I knew they would but there was something in them that seemed different. An undercurrent of melody that I had never heard, not even from the most accomplished of singers.

The thumping grew louder and with it the ground began to tremble. _Footsteps_, I thought. But what creature could be so large as to make the whole world shake when it walked?

That answer was given to me soon enough when the massive trees – California redwoods, my mind supplied – tore free at the roots by a pair of massive hands. A face stared down at me. One as long as I was tall.

Confronted by such a monstrosity, I did the logical thing.

I screamed.

The creature – was it a giant? A massive human? Where did it _come _from? – appeared startled, it's grinning face dimming into something like mild confusion. The expression looked almost physically painful for the creature to convey.

In seconds I was on my feet and scrambling away from it, the scream breaking off as all my breathing was devoted to getting enough oxygen in to run, run, and never look back.

Loud crashes came from behind me. It was impossible to outrun it, even in the forest where it couldn't move easily amongst the trees. _Oh, dear God, save me, _I pleaded, running ever faster, wishing that I wasn't wearing such a flimsy, encumbering dress. I had to be dreaming still. I didn't own a dress like this, one that was more a toga than a dress, and giants didn't exist. However, in all my years of dreaming of different worlds, I had never once come across a beast like this.

There was a roar from my right. I looked over and nearly gave up right then and there. Another one of the creatures was coming right for me, this one half the size of the other. It still had to be at least seven metres tall. Four times my height.

"Help!" I screamed. "Someone! Anyone! _Help!_" More roars in the distance, then the ground shook so violently I fell to all fours and watched as a stampede of the creatures came rushing through the trees towards me. I was going to die.

There was only time for me to throw one last prayer upwards, that my death would be swift and painless, when a massive hand obscured my vision and I was being lifted into the air, towards that face that had grinned so widely when it first saw me. I closed me eyes and waited to be ripped apart or bitten in the back or crushed underfoot.

A strange cooing noise sounded, so loud it rumbled in my chest. My hair was brushed back from my face gently and suddenly there was something hot beneath my feet and fibre was brushing against my arms. I blinked and inhaled sharply.

Dozens of the monsters were staring at me from where I stood on the shoulder of the original, each of them with awe visible on their face. Feeling so off balance, I clung to the fibre and found that it was hair. The original was grinning again, giving me a sidelong glance that assured I stayed on its shoulder and started off for deeper into the forest. The others followed it, some of them around the same fifteen metres, others a good deal shorter, and none of them then less than twice my height.

Shocked and not a little disturbed, I sat down on the shoulder, held onto the hair for dear life and hoped that I wasn't being carried to my doom. A hysterical thought struck me.

_They won't make me their queen, will they?_

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><p>Two Months Later<p>

"Sourire!" I called, waving madly at the fifteen metre creature that had become my closest ally. The smiling titan turned around and came ambling towards me, its grin growing wider. Though it couldn't speak I knew it understood me and to some extent it could communicate through the grunts and moans it made. Hesitantly, I would call it female but from what I had seen of titans none of them had reproductive organs so couldn't be classified as either gender. So, the somewhat harsh but applicable 'it' was the term I stuck with.

The titan reached the tree I sat in and obligingly picked me up to take me to the forest floor where I could start a fire. Through the pillaging of the deserted town near to the forest I had managed to scrounge quite a good living space for me so far, with a blanket to sleep on, all the cutlery I needed to cook over an open fire and spare clothing. I tried not to think about what had happened to the people to make them flee so quickly, all their belongings abandoned in their homes. Maybe the titans scared them off. It had taken the giants three weeks to endear themselves to me, so I could understand that a mob mentality would easily have people running for the hills in the face of a perceived threat.

Yet so far the titans had been nothing but kind to me, taking me to where I asked to go, protecting me from the wild animals that roamed the lands – lions and tigers and bears, oh my! – and even turning around under my instruction when I was bathing.

"Miss Athelas," a gravelly voice said from between the trees. I looked up and smiled at the sight of Bête, the large, ape-like titan who was so far the only one I could speak to. It was Bête who told me the name of the titans, saying they were named as much by humans long ago. When asked where the nearest human settlement was, it said only that it was too dangerous for me to traverse the distance.

"Couldn't Sourire take me there?" I had asked. Bête had shaken its head.

"Humans fear what they do not know. If we were to take you, the humans would mistake us for kidnapping you and try to kill us," it'd said. I had gasped at that.

"But surely you can show them that you mean no harm! After all, you never hurt me!" Bête had tilted its head down, the shadows on its face creating a skeletal mask, and had merely said,

"Some things cannot change."

Now, as it came to crouch on the leaf-strewn ground that was a riot of colour as autumn truly gripped the land, a kind gesture that did nothing to make the seventeen metre titan seem less large, I scowled up at it playfully, that conversation still remembered but pushed aside by other, more pleasant issues.

"Mari, Bête. My name is Mari. _Mah-ree_," I told him. It tilted its head.

"You said your name is Athelas Mari Carter. Isn't it natural for me to call you by your first name?"

"I don't like the name Athelas. It was made up by my parents because they thought it was pretty. I prefer Mari. It was my grandmother's name."

"I like Athelas more."

I sighed in frustration. "Fine. At least drop the 'miss' though."

Bête inclined its head. "As you wish, Athelas." I mock-glared at him. It was times like this I wondered at what the titans thought of me. When I caught them looking at me when my back was turned their gazes were ones of reverence, like I really was their queen. Only Sourire and Bête treated me with more informality.

"So, what brings you here today, Bête?" I leaned back on Sourire's warm leg. It sat behind me, a barrier from the more dangerous world out there. Bête brought one of its hands up and placed a large deer on the forest floor, right next to my fire pit. Immediately, my mood lightened. I grinned up at the titan and crawled over to the fallen animal, snatching up a knife from the wooden box of kitchen instruments next to the circle of stones and firewood.

"Thanks!" I exclaimed. Following the instructions I had found in one of the homes on how to skin animals – though I mourned their loss of a home, what the people in the village had left was a wealth of information – I sliced off the skin from the back two legs and eased a hook through the exposed tendon on either leg. "Sourire?" The titan picked up the hooked carcass and secured it to the makeshift wooden skinning rack that looked like a gallows.

I slit the animal's throat and let the blood drain out, stepping back to avoid getting blood on my tunic and leggings. When it was done I went about skinning the deer. A surprising amount of muscle strength was needed for one person to tear free the hide from the muscle beneath. I didn't trust Sourire or Bête to have quite enough control to do it for me yet.

Soon enough I had a stew boiling over the fire and Bête was off hunting for vegetable for me to eat while Sourire kept watch. I lay down on my bed of blankets and stared up at the darkening canopy. That's when I heard a hissing noise coming from the distance, like the sound of a bus lowering for an elderly passenger. It was getting louder, coming closer. Sourire stood up and sniffed the air, its grin stretching even further, if that was possible. I sat up and followed the titan's gaze into the dimly lit forest.

Sourire walked forwards to meet whatever was coming to us. At first I saw nothing, then there was a flash of metal in the firelight and suddenly Sourire had fallen to the ground, a massive chunk of flesh cut from the back of its neck and blood splattering everywhere.

"Sourire!" I screamed, rushing forwards towards my titan friend. The titan didn't move, its eyes lifeless and glassy, mouth stretched in that eternal grin that was no longer a terror but a comfort. "Sourire!" I sobbed.

The hissing creature landed on the ground behind me but I made no move to look at it. What horrid thing could kill Sourire, the gentlest being I'd even known? It didn't even capture animals for me to eat; Bête and the others did that.

A roar sounded from close by. I looked up and smiled in relief at the sight of Oeil crashing through the trees. A small creature, it was, with a head as large as its body and eyes as big as my torso, but it was curious and well mannered towards everything it encountered, unlike some more unruly titans I'd had the misfortune to meet. There was one with long black hair and arms that were made for swinging through trees like a monkey that attacked me a month ago. The way it came after me in an animalistic frenzy still gave me nightmares. It had taken twenty-three of the strongest, smartest titans to destroy it and my stomach turned even thinking about them devouring the rabid creature. No, some titans were better not knowing.

So imagine my surprise when little Oeil screamed like a banshee and sprinted right for me. I barely had the time to run out of the way, ducking behind Sourire's steaming body as Oeil barrelled past. It leapt into the air, arms outstretched, and for that second I caught a glimpse of a human standing in the middle of the forest. Then the person was gone, a spiral of flashing steel raced up Oeil's arm and then it was falling to the ground too, its neck similarly sliced apart like Sourire's.

"Oeil!" I ran to the little titan. It was starting to steam. Soon it would be nothing but a pile of bones that would turn to dust.

"Bête!" I called. "Bête, where are you!" There was only a whoosh of air and a _shink _of metal clicking into place.

"Hey, who're you?" It was the person from before, standing in the tree above me. I looked up, tears in my eyes and could barely make out dark hair and a displeased expression. Their question wasn't friendly and I was too scared of someone who could kill so easily not to reply.

"A – Athelas," I choked out.

"What are you doing here?"

"I –" I broke off and looked about. What could I tell him, the murderer of such kind creatures, of my only home that I had in this strange place? I had so far resigned myself to not understanding how I came to be in this world but held out the hope that it was for a purpose greater than I could see right now.

"I _was _cooking dinner before I was interrupted," I said pointedly. No, no, don't get angry. Then you'll replace the fear and sadness with anger and it will spiral out of control.

But darn it, I had a right to be angry. The only person I've met here in two months and the first thing they do is kill the creatures that had taken care of me.

"Cooking dinner?" the person asked. My eyes were finally clear and I could see them – him – raising his eyebrow, one hand on his hip.

"Levi!" A woman spun through the trees on wires, two spikes imbedding themselves in the trunk on which the titan killer stood. She was at his side in seconds, two swords in hand and a manic grin in place. "You weren't meant to kill them!" she exclaimed. "Now what are we going to examine?"

"Examine?" I said, aghast. What sort of barbaric humans were these two? "You can't examine them! What right do you have to treat them no better than a common rat?" The woman looked down at me in surprise.

"Oh? Who's this?"

"She says her name's Athelas."

"Athelas? Where did she come from?"

"She was about to tell me before _you _interrupted, idiot," the titan killer said, glaring at the woman. She was half a head taller than him so it didn't have quite the right effect.

"So where are you from?" she asked, ignoring the man completely.

"I don't see why I should tell you anything! You just killed my friends!" I shouted, stomping over to Sourire who had all but dissolved. I placed a hand on its head and breathed a word of thanks for taking care of me.

"Friends?" the woman repeated. I glanced over my shoulder just in time to see them exchange a look. "You are friends with titans?"

"Of course I am! And you just murdered them!" My breathing hitched and I pressed a hand to my mouth. "Oh, what am I going to do? Bête! Where are you!?"

"Who's Bête?"

"No idea. She was screaming for him after I killed them."

"Do you think he's another titan?"

"Most likely. There aren't any signs of other humans being out here. We need to be ready when it comes. It's most likely an aberrant if it stayed close enough to hear her but not attack us."

"Shut up!" I yelled, whirling around to glare at them, completely giving way to anger now. "How can you people be so heartless as to kill such innocent creatures and then stand around planning to kill another? How can you," I pointed at the woman, "possibly think it's alright to experiment on them like they are nothing more than bacteria under a microscope? I don't care how scary they look, they can see and hear and feel just like we can and they never hurt _anyone!_" There was silence and then both of them jumped off the tree branch, wires firmly affixed to the trunk, and dropped to the ground on a cloud of smoke.

"How long have you been in the forest with them?" asked the man, walking towards me. The woman sheathed her blades in the strange contraptions at her hips and followed suit.

"Three months," I said, backing up until I bumped into Sourire's flesh-less skull.

"Where were you before you came here?"

"I don't see why that matters." The man's eyes narrowed.

"It matters because unless you have been living under a rock for your entire life or are so stupid it's a crime, you wouldn't call titans harmless."

"The question is, why haven't they eaten you yet?" the woman asked, cutting off any reply I might have had while peering at me like I was a particularly interesting specimen. I drew back further.

"Eaten? Titans don't eat people," I said. The man raised his eyebrow again.

"You really are an idiot."

"Hey!"

"Maybe she's part titan. That could explain it."

"Maybe. Anyway, take her with you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. We need to tell Keith. Let's go." He sped off through the trees without a backward glance.

The woman grinned at me and moved forwards as if for a hug. I darted out of the way and ran towards my supplies, ignored the knife and grabbed a skillet.

"Stay away from me! I'm not going anywhere with murderers like you." The woman dropped her arms and rolled her eyes.

"I'm not going to hurt you," she said. "Why would I hurt such an interesting person?"

"Did it hurt the titans when you _killed _them?"

She opened her mouth, closed it, and said, "Point taken. I'm not going to kill you. Levi would kill _me _if I did that." Right now she seemed quite sane, unlike that manic titan experimenter from before. I looked from Sourire to Oeil and sighed, lowering the skillet. There was nothing for me here now. My protector was dead, Bête nowhere to be seen and the other titans weren't as willing to be my friend at Sourire was; they were too much in awe of me for that, for whatever reason.

"It's going to be winter soon. You can't stay outdoors for that," the woman added to my thoughts. Feeling defeated, I dropped the skillet, went over to the bag filled with spare clothes kept safe from the elements and hoisted it over my shoulder.

"I'm going to go stay in the village just outside the forest. There's no way I'm going with a bunch of titan killers who want to dissect me." I turned around and walked away, ignoring her calls for me to wait. There was the hiss of her transport gear and suddenly she was swinging around the tree in front of me, blocking my path.

"Don't go this way," she said.

"Why?"

Looking awkward all of a sudden, she rubbed the back of her neck and said, "You said don't like titan killers, right?"

It didn't even take a moment for me to grasp her meaning. Dropping the bag, I sprinted past her, dodging under her outstretched arm and ran as fast as I could. Now I could smell it, the scent of blood, thick and heavy in the forest. All the animals were silent; no birds were in the trees. Death hung oppressively between the branches, smothering all signs of life.

"No!" I screamed when I came upon the first body. It was a more recent kill than Sourire and Oeil. Flesh still clung to the bones, showing gruesome injuries to its limbs.

_What monster could do this? _I thought. After that it was a nightmare of blood and dead titans that littered the ground like the autumn leaves. Some were nothing but bones, others still stared with eyes that would never see again.

Finally I came to the edge of the forest and froze in horror. The rolling hill country around the forest was an open graveyard of humans and titans, lying together with necks sliced apart and head split open. Legs were torn off, muscles and ligaments exposed by sword slashes and massive grasping fingers. Through some of the wreckage people walked, finding comrades and hoisting them onto stretchers and awaiting carts to be taken back to wherever their families were waiting for them.

"Monsters," I whispered. "All of you, monsters." And I didn't just mean the humans.

The woman landed at my side with my bag over one shoulder and surveyed the battleground with a weary eye. That was when I realised how young she was, only a ,litter older than myself. Bloodshed and fighting had aged her beyond her years.

"Athelas, titans kill humans," she said. I listened to her silently, unable to refute her words in light of the scene before me. "They eat us for sport. No one knows yet what they live on but it isn't us. They don't have the proper anatomy to absorb human flesh and turn it into energy – we dissolve in the acidic blood in their stomachs to be vomited up once they've had their fill. To them, we're a treat they can't get enough of." She started to laugh, a choking, rasping thing. On instinct I put my arms around her shoulders and held her close, even though she was even taller to me than she was to Levi and had no doubt been part of the slaughter. I couldn't bear to see someone in distress if I could help them, no matter who they were or what they had done.

She tensed for a second, her hands twitched towards her swords on reflex. It made me hold her even tighter, knowing that such an automatic response for violence had been ingrained in someone so young.

"How long have you been fighting?" I asked softly. Her breathing hitched.

"Too long," she said. Within seconds she relaxed and held onto me, crying silently into my shoulder, her own shuddering.

"It's okay. Right now, it's okay," I said, trying to bring out as much of that melodious tone as I could. No promise for the future, no knowledge of her past, I told her only what I could and that was that in this moment I wouldn't let her be in pain for a second longer than she had to be. I felt tears well up in my eyes too for the loss of everything I had once but shoved them back. Time for mourning my old life was gone and this young, broken woman needed someone to be stronger than her for once.

Eventually her sobs stopped and she straightened up, pushing her glasses onto her forehead and rubbing her eyes. She moved to push them back down but I stopped her.

"Can you see without your glasses?" I asked. She nodded slowly. "Then why do you wear them?"

"As a child I needed them. They've become a habit now," she said.

"Oh." I let go of her hand. "I think you look prettier without them on."

She jolted in the motion of lowering them back to her nose and stared at me incredulously. I raised my eyebrows.

"You're a weird kid," she said, but she still left them on her forehead. I grinned.

"How old are you?" I questioned.

"Twenty two."

"You're only four years older than me!"

"You're eighteen? _Really?_"

"Yes, why? Do I look older?"

She muffled a laugh behind her hand. "You look sixteen at most." I frowned at her, unable to really feel upset though. Before meeting the titans I'd often had my age mistaken. The way my blonde hair had the tendency to turn into ringlets didn't help matters much either.

"Oi, Hange! We're going!" shouted Levi, appearing around the corner of a tree off to our left.

"Roger!" she called back.

"Your name is Hange?" I asked her. She held out my bag for me to take and gestured for me to get on her back. I did so with some trepidation and nearly screamed when she took off through the air, making for the crowd of horses in the distance.

"Hange Zoë at your service!" she cried over the wind.

"Athelas Mari Carter at yours!"

"Welcome to the Survey Corps, Athelas!" We jumped to the ground and were met with a dozen interested stares. Levi gave us a cursory stare, his eyes lingering on me for a moment longer and then he jumped on a horse and ordered everyone to follow. Hange pulled me up behind her and we rode through the war torn land that destroyed everything I thought I knew of this world, leaving the forest far behind.

Somehow, deep down, I knew that it wasn't the last I'd be seeing of it.

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><p>TOWRTA: You've read it. Let's see if you review (how else do I know that this is worth something?). From now on, my author's notes will be down here unless I have an important question to ask.<p>

Promise of a lifetime: if you review I will reply. I've had so many fun conversations with reviewers I couldn't imagine not doing the same for this story.

God bless.

(P.S.: Did you know that Athelas is the kingsfoil weed in LOTR used to save Frodo's life from the witch king's sword's wound? And here I was, a New Zealander, thinking it was just a font name.)


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